PandaWolfXHorse

Yep, I have a new account,mostly cuz I hate my username ;-;
Here is a link ;
shinyou--teni.deviantart.com/
I'll be deleting this account in a week or two.
Thanks for all the support and if you like my art/stories please 'watch' my new account.
It's also so I can organize my art better.
BAI.

Hey--! I'm sorry I haven't been posting but I'm happy to say since my last depressing post I'm some-what better.
Okay so the good news is I AM woring on some art work at the moment.
Also my birthday is in 3 days! ^-^
Bad News is
I won't be very active because I'm not aloud to use the comp much and my internet is to slow to use on my ipod--but that brings god news as well,we are getting faster internet sometime in the up-coming months!
more bad news though--sorry ^-^' I also won't be on much becuase i'm working on my professions in animation more than just 'art'.
-Art meaning just drawings-
I'm also working on my crafts,such as sewing plushies! ^u^-just gotta get more materials x3-
and yeah...thats all 4 now ;o
bai

:y

I just am sorry I haven't posted anything,I'm depressed and I'm seeing a councelor...
I just keep pretending this is a dream in order to get by.
It won't last,I'm bound to lose it soon.
I'm losing the battle inside of my head.
No matter what I tell myself these little voices in their tell me the opposite.
I can't ignore the whispers...
I just want to run away so I never see anyone that I know ever again...
I can't handle the stress of being by other humans...
I'm going to fail...
I'm shutting don't...
I'm just so jealous of everyone,so jealous that I can't ignore it and move on...
I just want to forget everything.
I want to forget the feelings that I have and start new ones...
So...I will.
I'll stop feeling.

I'm sorry I disappeared, here i why.
I lost my 3DS and thats what I do all my art work on so I couldnt work on or post anything new im sorry, I just found it though and I have two new pics to upload!

=u= expect this to happen again because i break and lose things ALOT...

I'm determined to get 396 points for a one month premium membership  because I've wanted to change my username on here forever, I hate,hate,hate my name now... I don't even draw pandas or really wolves or horse anymore +n+ as you can see its very irritating so if you want me to do ANY requests at ALL just tell me and ill do them for 1 point!! <

XD im so lame

This is a story I wrote today in ELA class. hope you like. and BTW the story is in point of view of Shinyou!!

I'm Shinyou, a boy. I'm in 9th grade and the school year just began. I'm pretty happy. I have a boyfriend and his name is Asoko, hes very nice. My parents are divorced and I live with my father.(Because my mother moved away and we don't know where she is.) me and my dad have an awkward relationship though, but it's not a bad life I have.

Lately I noticed though people haven't been talking to me, or are just to busy to hang out... I don't think they are ignoring me but its everyone. To busy or maybe later ...
I ignore that though, I think they really are busy   Today is my dad's birthday so I'm going to invite everyone. I made sure no one's busy, so they can come .

"Hey Rikki." I said. Rikki is my friend, she has very dark brown hair. It's hard to tell when she is mad , sad, or anything though...
"Oh, hey Shinyou. Sup?"
"Well, today is my father's birthday, I was just gunna ask, you wanna come over after school for cake and stuff? You know jus' help celebrate?" I asked
Rikki shuffled her feet and opened her locker.
"Uhh...Sure, what time?" she asked.
"Whenever you want, it starts after school and since it's Friday you can just crash at my house or leave whenever. My father isn't very strict, but you know that." I told her as I  smiled.
"OK, I'll just walk home with you then." She told me as she closed her locker and walked off to 5th hour.

OK good, now I just need to ask Asoko and Danny!

I sat down in my 5th hour which was History class. I zoned out the whole class though as I normally do just thinking bout a bunch of shit. I saw out of the corner of my eye Danny flicking his pencil around on his desk like he was playing drums and I remembered I have to ask him to come!!
The bell rang and I got up and walked over to Danny. He was so tall (Or maybe I'm just short because I'm only 5'4) but I looked up and said "Hey dude, you busy tonight?"
"No, why? You havin' a tea party?" He joked because he knew I was gay.
I just smirked a little hurt by the remark and said, "Heh, no I was going to ask if you want to come over for my father's birthday?Maybe if you wanted, I mean..." I always got nervous around Dany because he was so tall and intimidating.
"Meh, sure what the hell, why not my folks won't mind anyways. But what time you sayin this is at?"
"After school or whenever you can make it, it's all night so you can sleep at my house if you want." I said back.
"OK,I'll head over around 4 P.M " He told me.

I was headed to my sixth hour as I walked by Asoko and grabbed him by the arm,.
"Waoh, what? What you need Shin?" Asoko asked me.
"Want to come over after school?" I asked him.
"Oh, yeah totally! SO your father is OK now? About us dating?" He asked thinking I meant it was only me and him going to be their... and we could do whatever... we...wanted.
"N-No, i mean I haven't talked to him bout it lately, I meant for my father's birthday I'm having a party for him in our backyard and our neighbors are coming over. I figured if he is having friends over I would invite you and Rikki and Danny!" I told him excitedly.
"Oh...OK, sure." He said as he smiled at me.

I walked away then and off to 6th hour. The last class of the day! I sat the whole hour, just doing nothing. I hated Science and it hated me I assumed so i day dreamed about Asoko and me, we went to the park then the candy store, we went shoppping at the mall and it was fun. It was fun until the teacher saw me dazing off into la-la land and I then had to stay after class to do work. Then as I was sitting at the desk(after class becuase i had to stay after) i remembered Rikki was supposed to walk home with me! SHIT! The teacher left the class room though so I snuck out... I couldn't find Rikki though, i figured she had given up on looking for me and just got on the bus so i walked home along, and very sadly.
Worst of all it was almost 3:30 and I had to set up the party still!

When I got home it was 3:40 and some people were their so I asked them to stand outside and my father came out and talked to them while I set up.
"Shhiiiin?" I heard fro the front hallway.
"What? WHo is it?" I knew who is was though, no one else called me shin beside my mom (But as i said she is gone)
"Asoko, duh. You should recognize my voice silly ." he said and i hoped he knew ...  i did, i knew his voice.
I aid nothing witch mustve worried him because he asked me wat was wrong.
"Nothing, sorry Ive been zoning out and dont know what to say to any one becuase i havent hung out with anyone in awhile." I quickly said as i finshed setting up the streamers and everything else.
"Oh,ok good. So nice set-up, its pretty nice." He said to me.
"thanks." was all i could think to say.
The party went on, Danny showed up later than he said. Not 4 like he said not even a hour after that but at 7. Rikki never showed... mUstve been a little busy and forgot...

The next day i skipped school because I was mad, the party sucked,and didnt go as i wanted to and i was stil mad at Rikki, she texted me and said she was busy with her mom, they had to take her dog to the vet... the thing is... her dog died last month. Lies.
After she texted me my mom called and I was so happy! She told me she was coming to get me! I told her about Asoko she said he could come, she told me she'd be here in two days... two days passed, no mom. nothing. no call. I tried calling back 10 times but the one time someone picked up it was her new boyfriend and he said she was busy and that she would call back sometime.... sometime, apparently means never.

I slept all day the next day after her boyfrined told me that,I didnt go to school. I just told my father I went and skipped. i was skipping for a month before the school came to our house and my dad had a stern talking with me. It made me feel worthless. SO i had to go to school the next day.
When I went Asoko looked at me and Rikki looked at me... Danny didn't. He pretended I was dead. As if I did...Which made him scarier.

AFter two hours noone talked to me and lunch was next! I didnt want to sit alone and honestly the instant coming back to reality shocked me, I really missed Asoko though...
I walked to the cafeteria doors, about to walk in to buy some lunch when -smack- somethin hit  me in the head! I turned around calmly, couldnt be mad a t who did it, friendly Asoko did it so I smiled. He didnt... He looked away. I grabbed him, "Asoko, whats up today? I come back and your like-ignoring me? Everyones ignoring me?"
Asoko, I could tell looked as if he was going to cry!? "Shinyou, we thouhgt. you ...we thought you were gone...I miss you and all but...I thought you left me"
I let go of him and turned around, I was about to cry. I was about to, well I dont even know but I was fucking mad. Mad at myslef for doing this to the one i love, and mad at everyone. AFter all, i was gone for a month and no one even looked at my HOUSE ,Not that I was dead...
"But, Im back...and im fine, IM here never left!" I weakly said as I started to break apart on the inside.

"Welcome back I mean to say," he smiled, "lets g-go to lunch and you tell me what has happened,OK?" I smiled, grabbed his hand and got some lunch. I cant rememeber what I ate, I remember it was red, because all I could see anymore was red. I felt something hot in my chest, not a nice thing and I fell... I hit my head on a table and my chest collapsed on the floor. I don't know what anyone did then. I remember I woke up, at my house and my head hurt... Asoko was their, sitting with me and he told me that I had just passed out and that I was sent home early. I didnt smile but he kept starring at me happily. I wasnt happy i was mad. I was...i was so enraged, my head throbbed, i was mad at Rikki...
Asoko take me to RIkki's? I mean can you?"
"Uhh, i dont think you should,  but ill call her and ask her to come here OK?"

Half an hour later  Rikki was their. I wanted revenge for the things she did to me, ignoring me, skipping my party, everything, she played mean tricks and what nots all the time,what a bitch.
WHen Asoko left my room I layed on the couch and told Rikki to come over. She smiled and cried a bit.
"Shinyou, I-i wanted you t know why i didnt come to the party! "
"I dont fucking care." and then I sat up straight and looked at her suprised face.
"No, shinyou you need to know, it was becau-"
I kicked her, right off the chair she was in, i then knocked my lava lamp on her, it broke. She cried and tried to stand up but i kept her down with my foot and i picked up a piece of glass.
"Stop! Shinyou I love you! I was to embarrassed to come to the party! Thats why!"
I coudlnt care less and i cut her right eye open, blood got on my jacket, as white as it was I shouldve seen it coming but i was pissed and ripped most of her hair out.

"Shin!? are you OK!? What the he-" Asoko walked  in with Danny, Danny? Why the fuck was he here!?
I sprang up and cried, dropping the glass. Rikki still cried over on the floor, slowly And painfully bleeding out. Asoko walked ver to me and held me, he didnt care if I was a monster...
"Shin! what the hell!? what the fucking god!? whats wrong with you!?" Danny screamed.
I couldnt let him run, and tell everyone, not even one person could know...

Ill continue tomorrow since its friday, cuz im really lazy and getting hungry so imma go make something!!